Running

Even at my worse, running brings out vitality in me. It is a feeling of unity. It represents the euphoria that surrounds me, the solitude and lastly, survival. Survival is important when I am away, neither feeling any sense of sadness, longing or however you might like to call it. Survival is all I have got left when nothing wells up in my eyes. Now, not even pain spills from my eyes. I am shaking because the mirror reflects nothing when looked deep in my eye. I look through it like it's naked, like it's transparent. I know.. I know so because every morning the first waking thing i'd do is to look in the mirror to search for any form of emotion. What I want is to see if I can't feel.

Running comes about where thin, unseen, dry but fresh air rushes into my thirsty lungs, where the inside of my mouth thirsts for more saliva, where my legs moves forwards without seemingly able to come to a halt, where I finally feel alive and where finally.. My emotions come to a wake.

Pain pain pain is all there is available but better than nothing. Better than an empty shell with false fronts.