Not meant to be

So much has happened. Guess I lost another friend once again. I guess in a way our friendship just came to a point of conclusion. I can't really explain how it feels like. I think it's because it feels pretty much overwhelming, feels like i'll shatter into pieces any moment. Like in need of a tight hold from someone but not showing enough desperation on my side. This was my fault again. It always will be you know? This time i've lost strength to pick my phone to give a word or two of concern cause I think my heart matters most now. Not texting doesn't mean I give no form of concern, I think no thoughts of your well being. What is showing? What does showing you my anxiety when it comes to you, do at the end of the day? Exactly, nothing. Haha what misinterpretations you guys make. Tell me i'm selfish, it's alright. Beads of tears that always falls for us, every pierce in the heart that goes in so thoroughly, I think this is the farthest I can go.

What all of you never knew was that I never came into your lives to ever claim any form of credits. I was sincere. I was so damn sincere but what a joke, look where sincerity brought me to. All the holes in my life were probably all dug by me. I'm still searching my mind for what lessons I have learnt from this. Is this allowing my mind to see no hope in friendships or is there really a guide behind these heartaches i'm drowning in? Haha maybe this is a hint for me to take lessons on how to be a good friend.
Some words are just better not spoken and sometimes, forgoing relationships does better for the other. I'm sorry. May she always be well.