Difference

When you are one on your own with no one to care for but yourself, things are of arrival at what you may call, a safety habour. When you are on your own, you are of no responsibility of any when it comes to others. Things are secured when no one else is involved with you because when emotional intimacy between humans are involved, things are not solved as accordingly as when you were on your own. Feelings are tangled, the need for the other grows, what does dependency and one self mean anymore? Are you capable of protecting yourself when there is no more emotional contact with another human? When you are not one anymore, you have the duty to protect and love the other. Save the other with protective arms and to complete a role of a mother. When you are one though, you are your own knight in shining armour, you deal with only your emotions and no one else's. You are wrecked, but that's your own issue. You gather your own shit together and it becomes alright to fall and dive into self pity. It becomes okay to pick the pieces of glasses up on your own. It becomes safe to sit and watch yourself bleed. It is perfectly fine to be immersed in your own solitude. No one needs no explaination from you. All, is safe.
But, when there is another involved, everything becomes a twist. A horrifying twist especially if involved with me. That's the difference. The stark difference.

It frightens me when any intimacy with humans come knocking on my door. Whether is it physical or emotional contact, it all leads to ships sinking gracefully and very successfully. I can't save anyone when I can't even fend for myself. Screw you, humans. Screw it when you have a role to play. Screw it further when you know you aren't your own protector anymore.