Is it fucking time yet

I feel like the moments of regression has persisted on for far too long. I don't know what i'm truly doing. Everything in such chaos. Was it a good choice to have went for it, should I have chosen to stay in the closet instead, hidden away from it all? Man, I don't know. It's been months now and I can hardly answer a yes or a no. It's been months now and everything is only worsening.

Am I not trying hard enough? Well what if I don't have that strength to? Then I just have to suck it all up and stay regressing. Stay regressing cause it's what I chose to isn't it?

Oh fuck all of these. Writing it all out literally makes me feel like a crippled piece of shit. All fuckin' hail this piece of shit that i've come to be. I mean, what should I ought to even be?!

Sometimes my soul is outside of my body and I watch myself perform tasks and realise just how much of a loser I truly fucking am. Like I am a pushover, much too mild, too aimless, too smothering, too soft, with no fighting spirit, NO SHIT! Ask the people around me and they'll tell you how I am so absolutely no mean feat, that anyone could conquer me.

What am I to say?

Man. What a time. what a fucking time to be alive. I'm getting quite sick of this life. My question is this, is it fucking time yet